Definite Entanglement

Lance Morgue…
I’ve seen things before, funny things, weird things. But still, looking at Arrgahal was an unsettling sight… like a child aged at around 8-11 years old. Almond eyes, with the teardrop angled up and the pointy corner towards the nose cone. Not even a cone, just two small slits. The mouth didn’t make it better. A thin slit comparable to the smiley face emoticon… Skin all hairless and grey. More like the color of the dead young dude that I found in the bushes behind the Jamaica Pond when I was playing Pokemon Go. The BEAST genetic injection wasn’t making it better, whatsoever. I still felt a bit of creepiness each time I looked at him.
“We did a scan of your brain and laid out a baseline of what your daily life consists of.” He finally spoke on a screechy voice that was more ferral and rodentish sounding, rather than super intelligent “better than earthlings” alien. “We also realized that you are a big fan of action movies. Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Van Damme. They all have left a footprint in your brain. Judging from the cameras that were monitoring the park, you are already proficient on most of using those tricks in real life.”
“You kidding me? I can barely swim out of a shallow pool.”

I did not get a chance to watch the video of the incident first hand and all the things that I recall they are still blury. But still what Arrgahal was telling me sounded like a big pile of shit presented to me in a Kinder Surprise egg.
“Well, knock yourself out!” He reached for his right arm and then I noticed a long device on the underside of his forearm. He was wearing it like a watch. He swiped left and the whole pad came to life with a bunch of blocks, marked with different symbols and lit in a wide spectrum of colors. As he was pressing several blocks, a literal green screen lowered from the ceiling. Arrgahal pointed the arm worn device towards it. “If you’re wondering. That’s the entire alien administrated portion of the Area 51 comand center on a portable device. No need to eyeball my arm with every movement that I do.” I didn’t even realize that I was eyeballing him. I am starting to like this guy though, small talk and assertive. Right to the point. A totally different environment from the everyday western culture. You either say what the fellow Americans want to hear; or risk getting your opinion shot down and become the most hated person in your social circle. With the addition of social media, the most hated person in the nation.

The screen changed from green to gray and I could see myself gorging that delicious sub as my eyes kept scanning the Ghost Ship pages. I was focused so deep in the book, I could literally see the cogs of my brain turning. Then Ray enters the frame from the lower left and immediately grabbed me in a chock hold. Then rapidly pounds the top of my head several times. The book and the sandwich drop to the ground and I do a swift ninety degrees turn as I aim right for his throat, next punch lands on his collar bone then the next one on his left shoulder… That explains all those fists that landed in the air. Only the order of the tirade was mixed up on my recollection. “Guess you’re right my little friend. What got into me though?”
“Said what?” Arrgahal got in my face matching chest to chest… Well I’m at least 5’3″.
“I said what could have gotten into me to unleash all that precission?”
“No. I mean before that!” Arrgahal was screeching like a pulled audiotape. “I might be four feet tall exact. But I am not stupid. I am starting to think that you’re actually enjoying getting jumped on and beaten.” Within seconds small fists were trying to grab my Adam’s apple.
“Son of a bitch!” I growled as I pushed him with all my might. That sent Arrgahal flying across the room and slam into the wall, then he slipped down and sat his ass on the floor.
“Ah, you finally broke the barrier.” He was back on his feet.
“What barrier? You thought I was gonna let you pound me into a pulp out of the respect of you having a higher intelligence than me, an unschooled earthling? My friend two hands are for one head.” I couldn’t believe, I was bragging some earthy sense into him and puffing my chest in the mean time. Man to man. Chest to chest. Bring it on you andromedan shrimp.
“The strength barrier. Every brain has a set limit of weights you can lift. That thingie responsible for making the sport of weightlifting a competition. Without that and by using as many muscles as you can, you would be lifting up to 25 tons.”
No wonder the little shit hugged the wall backwards. “Mind if we try that again?”
“Absolutely not! I do not view myself as a glutton for punishment.”
Ha! Funny guy. “Well. How do we supposedly get on with my training if you don’t want us to improvise fighting?”
“Earthlings and their greed…What more could you ask for other than breaking the strength barrier. Now you know what to do. Throw them against the wall, but do it discreetly. Remember no one knows you are there. If they die, they die… Oh, we also got you a little gift. Follow me.”

We walked through hallway after hallway. After hallway. Downstairs. Hallway. Emergency door. Base field with troops standing on their hands and doing pushups. Another door. Stairs going up. Hallway after hallway and a narrow unmarked door that you could barely distinguish from the wall design on both sides. On the other side there was a hangar sized garage. One single floor. As i followed Arrgahal, we passed so many cars. Military grade trucks. At the end of the row, there was a presidential Caddy parked. That’s where Arrgahal stopped.
“And this is it.” Arrgahal opened his arms to present it to me just like the girls on the game shows. On closer inspection, it was not a presidential Caddy. It was a funeral car.
“So you are presenting me with a dead body?”
“No, you moron. That’s your first service car. Of course you will never use that for your funeral business needs because the coffin that occupies it must never leave the trunk unless there’s a real emergency.” The little alien was staring me down. Well I thought he did, as to be honest his facial features never change.
“And why would that be?” It was a messed up situation. I will be a funeral director and I will be transporting so many coffins on this car. But i must never leave the current coffin behind. Go figure.
“Because it is your weapon’s lockbox. Come and see for yourself.” I walked around the back of the hearse. Even though I am a Beast now, my hands were still shaking as Arrgahal opened the coffin bay and pulled out the ruby red coffin covered with a thermal blanket. You never know what would crawl out of there. Once the lid popped up, my eyes bulged out. “I thought this was my weapon’s lockbox…”
“Yeah, it is. What’s the problem?”
“This is an entire arsenal! This is my problem.” I was furious. I would be the one having to drive this right under the nose of law enforcement, all day. Every single day and this andromedan little shit thought this was normal?
“Oh, the plates are off limits for any officer other than CCBI agents. And I’d suggest you keep only a Glock 19 on your waist band. The rest should stay in the coffin.” Arrgahal shut the lid hard as if trying to make a point. “Now let’s head back to head quarters. You need to shower, have lunch and then be on your way. You have a really long drive ahead of you. Agent Stanbie is waiting for you in San Francisco. Just remind me before you leave so we can stop by the central command. I need to give you a couple of files regarding your graduation from San Francisco College of Mortuary Science. The other file is top secret. You must not open it. Just ask agent Stanbie to introduce you to a fella called Dave Fisher. He will be your mentor.”
Damn it man. The way things get accomplished at Area 51 without even moving a finger is ridiculous. Too bad Beast gene doesn’t even let me have headaches no more. I need one…

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